


Silences

by frominsideacomputer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-04-10
Packaged: 2018-03-22 05:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frominsideacomputer/pseuds/frominsideacomputer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So Dan and Phil broke up ages ago and they haven't seen each other since. Then Phil's asked to come to youtube for a thing, an Dan is there as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Awkward Silences

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a two version story, this version has a sad ending, the next version (which is found by going to the next chapter) has a better ending, I would recommend you read this one first.   
> Thanks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANGST ENDING

"I can't believe you Phil." Dan sighed, angry and upset. 

"What?" Phil stood in the doorway of Dan's room.

Dan looked up from his position on the edge of the bed. "I just don't think we can do this anymore." 

"Do what?" Phil frowned.

"This," Dan gestured to himself and Phil. "Us."

"Dan you're not..?" 

"Phil, I...think we should break up." That phrase cut out of Dan like a claw in his heart, and it grabbed at Phil, scratching and cutting him. 

 

 _6 years later_  

Phil could still remember what it had felt like when Dan had broken up with him. He hadn't been with anyone since because he had never been as in love with someone as much he had loved Dan. 

Now, he was back in Manchester, back in his old home. His new flat was even in the same area as their old one. 

That didn't hurt though, because Manchester was first, he knew Manchester and that flat before he knew Dan. 

That was why he had to get out of London. Because he saw a memory of Dan in every part of London. 

He had enough money to escape, to get out. But he had to somehow tell Radio 1 that they couldn't do the show together anymore; and they certainly couldn't call it Dan and Phil Games anymore. Maybe Dan  _or_  Phil Games. But he continued AmazingPhil though, and it's got over 5 million subscribers. But Dan's got more, he always did; even though Phil had been doing it longer, Dan got subscribers faster, he was better looking and funnier, more relatable and younger. 

Phil always knew that was why. 

 

Today, for the second time in six years, Phil was back in London. He didn't really want to be there, but he had to go. YouTube had asked him to do a talk for their internship programme. The main reason he didn't want to go was because they'd asked 'other youtubers' to come as well; and Dan was going to be there. 

 

Phil was outside the YouTube offices, waiting until someone else turned up. 

"Phil?" 

He spun around on hearing his name. "Louise!" 

They gave each other a massive hug, Louise having to go up on her toes to properly hug Phil. 

"I haven't seen you in ages." She smiled, but slightly sadly. 

"Six years, Darcy must be, what, 12?"  He said as they walked inside. 

"Yeah." Louise sighed.

As they reached the front desk, Phil brought up a topic with really scratched at his heart. "Do you know if...?" He couldn't quite bring himself to say his name, but Louise understood, she was the only person who knew the full details of the break up.

"I think so," They each took their name badge and pinned them onto their shirts. "Have you really not spoken in six years?" She said, following Phil into the lift. 

"No, and I don't think I'll ever really be over it." 

Then a silence fell in the lift and they stood together, quietly; Phil checked his phone for any non-existent texts. 

"Floor six." The lift woman said. "Doors opening." 

They stepped out of the lift and wandered down the corridor. 

"Do you know where we're going?" Phil asked, following Louise, before they stopped outside a door marked 'Presentation Room'. 

"In here I think." She pushed the door open, into what she thought was an empty room. 

Phil followed in after her, his eyes flicking around the place. But then just before he completed the scan, Louise stopped, noticing another person in the room.

Phil saw him too and their eyes locked in surprise and anger. 

Blinking, Phil looked down, breaking eye contact. 

"Hey Louise," Dan stood up, giving her a hug. "Phil." He nodded in Phil's direction, who gave a nonchalant nod back. 

"How's Tess?" Louise asked Dan as they sat down on a sofa, Phil sat awkwardly on the end. 

Tess? Dan's got a girlfriend? Phil thought. 

"She's okay, had to take her to the vet last weekend though." Dan sighed.

'Oh she's his pet. I thought we weren't allowed pets in the apartment.' Phil realised. 'Maybe he's moved.' 

"How are you Phil?" Dan's question to him sliced through the air. 

"Good, yeah, you?" As bitter as Phil felt, he had to be polite with Louise around. 

"Yeah, good." And the conversation ended, an awkward entry silence filled the room. 

Luckily, a group of people came into the room, all talking and chatting. 

Ben, Hazel, Jack, Dean, Charlie and Tom. All Phil and Dan's old friends. And all people Phil hadn't seen for six years. 

"Phil!" Jack yelled, running over to him, and giving him a massive hug. Then hugs from Hazel, Charlie and Ben followed, and friendly handshakes from Dean and Tom.

 

Phil had missed this sense of community and friendship in the YouTube community in London. He missed being able to quickly meet friends and have a coffee together. 

They all caught up with him and what he was doing - Dan say awkwardly in the corner, pretending to be on his phone, when he was really listening to what Phil had to say, Phil knew he was listening, he could see him looking up at them occasionally, and smiling at his jokes. 

A few minutes later, someone came in and the group fell silent. 

"So, we've you into groups. Then each group will lead an activity with the interns, who are in teams, you have to judge the interns in how well they did, and how many points you give them. The winning team get jobs here." He said, addressing them all. 

Phil dreaded this, he had to lead something, and he may have been put with Dan. 

"So the groups are: Jack and Dean; Louise and Hazel; Charlie, Tom and Ben; and Dan and Phil."

At the last names read out, there was a collective tension. Everyone pretended to ignore it, like there wasn't a problem, but there clearly was. 

Phil was panicking, he could barely talk to Dan for five minutes, let alone lead with him for the whole day. 

"Come and collect a pack from the front, each one has your names on it, and the instructions inside." 

Phil stood up to get the folder, he saw his name written on the label, above another which had been crossed out. So he was originally with Jim, but he couldn't go so they'd put him with Dan (who was originally with PJ, but he couldn't come either). 

Walking over to Dan, Phil glanced at Louise, who caught his eye and mouthed, 'be nice'. 

"So, ours is the editing activity." Phil said opening the pack, and pulling out the instructions. "We're in room 6B." Phil just wanted to get it over with.

"Phil stop." Dan said, interrupting him.

"But..." Phil protested. 

"Just stop. I haven't seen you in six years." 

"There was a reason for that." Phil muttered angrily.

"We can't do it like this." Dan sighed, standing up. 

"Well, tough, because I'm really done with you. I really don't want to be here." Phil snapped, walking over to the door. "6B is out here." 

 

They walked in silence along the corridor and found 6B. Phil pushed the door open, revealing a large room, Macs lined the wall at one end, and at the other end were long desks and chairs, facing a small raised stage with a projector screen. There were two green screens and some lights against the opposite wall, plus a box of cables.

"This is nice," Dan said, dropping his bag on the stage. "How long have we got until we have to start?" 

Checking his phone, Phil said, "one hour. We better get cracking." 

He opened the pack and spread everything out on the stage. 

Scanning everything, Dan said, "So basically we need to create a presentation on how to use green screens, then they have to make their own short video, and we judge who's is better." 

Knowing that Dan would rather use his own examples and videos to show the green screen, Phil suggested that he write the presentation, whilst Dan put the examples together and decided on the task. 

"Sure." Dan shrugged and went to turn on one of the macs, whilst Phil opened the laptop on the stage to make the presentation. 

After around twenty minutes, Phil was half finished, and just needed to copy Dan's videos and examples to the presentation.

"You done yet?" Phil called across to Dan.

"Nearly." He replied without moving.

"Well, save everything to this when you're done." He threw a USB stick across the room, where it landed about two metres away from Dan. 

"You never could throw accurately." Dan muttered under his breath. 

"You were always a lazy shit." Phil snapped back. 

 

Dan came over and handed the USB back to Phil, who checked through the clips and copied them into the PowerPoint. 

"Do you want to practise or what?" Phil asked, seeing that they had another ten minutes until the group arrived. 

"Let me read the PowerPoint and well improvise." Dan sat in front of the laptop, reading through Phil's notes and bullet points. 

 

A short while later, the interns came in and they began the presentation. It went better than expected, but considering that they hadn't practiced, it wasn't that smooth (there was also the minor issue of both people almost hating each other). 

By the time the teams were making their own videos, inspired by 'Reasons why Dan's a fail.' 

Phil was sitting on the stage, checking his phone for any emergency that would get him out of this mess. 

Dan was wandering around, seeing what the teams were doing, occasionally glancing at Phil. 

He walked over to the stage, and leant on it, next to where Phil was sitting. 

"So, you haven't changed," Dan shrugged. "But I don't really think that's a bad thing."

Not looking up from his phone, Phil replied, "and neither have you." 

Silence fell again, awkward and sharp. The seconds ticked by, Dan paced the room again, Phil did as well, giving tips to the teams. 

 

Finally they decided it was time to judge the videos. 

The first teams was good. They'd based it on 'things everyone does but no one admits to.' They used a class room and a swirling void for their green screen work. The second team chose how there's always 'one person who...' And they used a bus and restaurant. 

Both were good, but after an angry discussion, Dan and Phil decided that it was the first team who deserved the win. 

The interns left and Dan and Phil were left alone in the room. 

"Look, Phil. Six years is a long time ago." Dan sat down on the edge of the stage. 

"So?" He snapped back, closing down the laptop. 

"So surely there's a part of you that..." 

"No Dan. There isn't." 

"But..."

"No." Phil turned around, staring Dan down. 

"Please Phil." Dan looked upset now, Phil thought it was almost funny. 

"Daniel James Howell, the day I want to even try to be friends with you will be a very dark day indeed." Phil jumped down off the stage and stood opposite Dan. 

"But Phil, please..."

"No. You're the one who broke up with me. Remember?" Phil almost stormed out of the door, just as he left he thought he heard a Dan say,

"Just give me a second chance." 

"I would if you'd given me one." Phil mumbled as he opened the door to the original room. 

"Quiet as ever." Jack whispered to Louise. 

"I see they're not friends again." Louise replied. 


	2. Friendlier Silences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the happier ending for the previous chapter, I wrote this because I liked the storyline too much to end on a sad note so I wrote both. There's a point where the work changes, but for the first part it is exactly the same, because I copied and pasted it in, so read it or don't but I'll mark where the change is

"I can't believe you Phil." Dan sighed, angry and upset. 

"What?" Phil stood in the doorway of Dan's room.

Dan looked up from his position on the edge of the bed. "I just don't think we can do this anymore." 

"Do what?" Phil frowned.

"This," Dan gestured to himself and Phil. "Us."

"Dan you're not..?" 

"Phil, I...think we should break up." That phrase cut out of Dan like a claw in his heart, and it grabbed at Phil, scratching and cutting him. 

 

 _6 years later_  

Phil could still remember what it had felt like when Dan had broken up with him. He hadn't been with anyone since because he had never been as in love with someone as much he had loved Dan. 

Now, he was back in Manchester, back in his old home. His new flat was even in the same area as their old one. 

That didn't hurt though, because Manchester was first, he knew Manchester and that flat before he knew Dan. 

That was why he had to get out of London. Because he saw a memory of Dan in every part of London. 

He had enough money to escape, to get out. But he had to somehow tell Radio 1 that they couldn't do the show together anymore; and they certainly couldn't call it Dan and Phil Games anymore. Maybe Dan  _or_  Phil Games. But he continued AmazingPhil though, and it's got over 5 million subscribers. But Dan's got more, he always did; even though Phil had been doing it longer, Dan got subscribers faster, he was better looking and funnier, more relatable and younger. 

Phil always knew that was why. 

 

Today, for the second time in six years, Phil was back in London. He didn't really want to be there, but he had to go. YouTube had asked him to do a talk for their internship programme. The main reason he didn't want to go was because they'd asked 'other youtubers' to come as well; and Dan was going to be there. 

 

Phil was outside the YouTube offices, waiting until someone else turned up. 

"Phil?" 

He spun around on hearing his name. "Louise!" 

They gave each other a massive hug, Louise having to go up on her toes to properly hug Phil. 

"I haven't seen you in ages." She smiled, but slightly sadly. 

"Six years, Darcy must be, what, 12?"  He said as they walked inside. 

"Yeah." Louise sighed.

As they reached the front desk, Phil brought up a topic with really scratched at his heart. "Do you know if...?" He couldn't quite bring himself to say his name, but Louise understood, she was the only person who knew the full details of the break up.

"I think so," They each took their name badge and pinned them onto their shirts. "Have you really not spoken in six years?" She said, following Phil into the lift. 

"No, and I don't think I'll ever really be over it." 

Then a silence fell in the lift and they stood together, quietly; Phil checked his phone for any non-existent texts. 

"Floor six." The lift woman said. "Doors opening." 

They stepped out of the lift and wandered down the corridor. 

"Do you know where we're going?" Phil asked, following Louise, before they stopped outside a door marked 'Presentation Room'. 

"In here I think." She pushed the door open, into what she thought was an empty room. 

Phil followed in after her, his eyes flicking around the place. But then just before he completed the scan, Louise stopped, noticing another person in the room.

Phil saw him too and their eyes locked in surprise and anger. 

Blinking, Phil looked down, breaking eye contact. 

"Hey Louise," Dan stood up, giving her a hug. "Phil." He nodded in Phil's direction, who gave a nonchalant nod back. 

"How's Tess?" Louise asked Dan as they sat down on a sofa, Phil sat awkwardly on the end. 

Tess? Dan's got a girlfriend? Phil thought. 

"She's okay, had to take her to the vet last weekend though." Dan sighed.

'Oh she's his pet. I thought we weren't allowed pets in the apartment.' Phil realised. 'Maybe he's moved.' 

"How are you Phil?" Dan's question to him sliced through the air. 

"Good, yeah, you?" As bitter as Phil felt, he had to be polite with Louise around. 

"Yeah, good." And the conversation ended, an awkward entry silence filled the room. 

Luckily, a group of people came into the room, all talking and chatting. 

Ben, Hazel, Jack, Dean, Charlie and Tom. All Phil and Dan's old friends. And all people Phil hadn't seen for six years. 

"Phil!" Jack yelled, running over to him, and giving him a massive hug. Then hugs from Hazel, Charlie and Ben followed, and friendly handshakes from Dean and Tom.

 

Phil had missed this sense of community and friendship in the YouTube community in London. He missed being able to quickly meet friends and have a coffee together. 

They all caught up with him and what he was doing - Dan say awkwardly in the corner, pretending to be on his phone, when he was really listening to what Phil had to say, Phil knew he was listening, he could see him looking up at them occasionally, and smiling at his jokes. 

A few minutes later, someone came in and the group fell silent. 

"So, we've you into groups. Then each group will lead an activity with the interns, who are in teams, you have to judge the interns in how well they did, and how many points you give them. The winning team get jobs here." He said, addressing them all. 

Phil dreaded this, he had to lead something, and he may have been put with Dan. 

"So the groups are: Jack and Dean; Louise and Hazel; Charlie, Tom and Ben; and Dan and Phil."

At the last names read out, there was a collective tension. Everyone pretended to ignore it, like there wasn't a problem, but there clearly was. 

Phil was panicking, he could barely talk to Dan for five minutes, let alone lead with him for the whole day. 

"Come and collect a pack from the front, each one has your names on it, and the instructions inside." 

Phil stood up to get the folder, he saw his name written on the label, above another which had been crossed out. So he was originally with Jim, but he couldn't go so they'd put him with Dan (who was originally with PJ, but he couldn't come either). 

Walking over to Dan, Phil glanced at Louise, who caught his eye and mouthed, 'be nice'. 

"So, ours is the editing activity." Phil said opening the pack, and pulling out the instructions. "We're in room 6B." Phil just wanted to get it over with.

"Phil stop." Dan said, interrupting him.

"But..." Phil protested. 

"Just stop. I haven't seen you in six years." 

"There was a reason for that." Phil muttered angrily.

"We can't do it like this." Dan sighed, standing up. 

"Well, tough, because I'm really done with you. I really don't want to be here." Phil snapped, walking over to the door. "6B is out here." 

 

They walked in silence along the corridor and found 6B. Phil pushed the door open, revealing a large room, Macs lined the wall at one end, and at the other end were long desks and chairs, facing a small raised stage with a projector screen. There were two green screens and some lights against the opposite wall, plus a box of cables.

"This is nice," Dan said, dropping his bag on the stage. "How long have we got until we have to start?" 

Checking his phone, Phil said, "one hour. We better get cracking." 

He opened the pack and spread everything out on the stage. 

Scanning everything, Dan said, "So basically we need to create a presentation on how to use green screens, then they have to make their own short video, and we judge who's is better." 

Knowing that Dan would rather use his own examples and videos to show the green screen, Phil suggested that he write the presentation, whilst Dan put the examples together and decided on the task. 

"Sure." Dan shrugged and went to turn on one of the macs, whilst Phil opened the laptop on the stage to make the presentation. 

After around twenty minutes, Phil was half finished, and just needed to copy Dan's videos and examples to the presentation. **_(here is the change in ending)_**

"Hey Dan?" Phil asked, wandering over.

"Yeah?" Dan spun around in his chair.

"Are you done yet?" Phil was stood stiffly, his hands were lightly too sweaty and he couldn't keep them still. 

"Yeah, nearly, I just need to decide what the task for the interns is. I'm stuck." 

Thinking about it, Phil replied, "what about a 'reasons why Dan's a fail type (yay!)' type thing?" 

Dan's eyes widened, forgetting all about that. "Oh my god, I haven't done one of those in a while, the last one must have been..." Dan trailed off when he realised it had been before he had broken up with Phil. 

"Oh," Phil looked down at his feet. "Just save the clips to this when you're done." He handed Dan his old USB which originally had all the Philisnotonfire footage on. It still faintly said 'Pinof' on the side. 

Phil went and sat back on the stage, flicking through the PowerPoint.

"Here." Looking up, Phil saw Dan stood in front of him holding out the USB. 

"Thanks," Phil stood up and Dan climbed onto the stage. "Do you want to plan what we're going to say, or just do it?" 

"Let me have a look through the slides first." 

As Phil copied the clips into the slide, he could hear Dan breathing heavily next to him. 

Phil finished copying, and he pulled the USB stick out. "That's everything." 

"Why don't we have a go, and see how it goes?" Dan shrugged.

"Fine," He connected the laptop to the projector and their power point was on the screen. "So, like, welcome them, explain what this is about, do the presentation then set them on the task?" 

"Yeah." Dan shrugged again ('vague as ever' Phil thought). 

In the twenty minutes they had left, they went through the presentation. The clips Dan had used were from videos he hadn't seen, ones that must have happened after the break up; but the final few were from old Danisnotonfire video: What not to do on public transport, Audience Participation Fear and Dan Is On Fire. 

"I remember filming that." Phil gave a brief laugh.

"We nearly set everything on fire!" Dan smiled, properly for the first time since seeing Phil. 

"And then YouTube came and told us off!" Phil smiled back, and it was an honest smile. 

Laughing, Dan checked the time. "Oh shit they'll be here in a minute, look professional." 

"Dan, you haven't looked professional for one day in your life." Phil relaxed, they were less tense as before. 

"What about the Brit awards?" Dan flicked the PowerPoint back to the beginning and went to sit at the front of the stage. 

"I was there too it doesn't count." Phil joined him at the front. 

 

Silence fell again, but it wasn't so awkward this time, it was more comfortable and friendlier. 

It was interrupted by a group of twenty students bursting into the room. 

"Hi, have a seat." They both stood up, gesturing to the empty chairs. 

Once everyone was settled, they began their briefly practised presentation - it reminded Phil of the craft video they had made for April fools one year. 

The presentation went better than expected, and soon they were sitting on the stage watching the two teams’ film and edit. 

"So, you're still filming?" Dan asked Phil.

"Yeah, but I do a lot of editing for advert and commercials now. You're still vlogging, or whatever we called it?" 

Dan nodded, "I'm just so comfortable doing it, there's not much else I like doing." 

"Seven years ago, you would've rather done me." Phil muttered, a little too loudly. 

Dan heard and he snorted very loudly. "Why would you say something like that?" 

"Because I'm still bitter and I still kinda hate you." Phil replied sarcastically.

"Oh," Dan looked downtrodden, "I thought that we were getting on."

Apologising, Phil said "No, we are, just after seeing you after six years is...it just brings back bad memories."

"I'm sorry." Dan carefully put his arm around Phil, who tensed, but didn't move it. 

 

After a moment, Phil said, "We've only got fifteen minutes left. They've had over an hour to make a one minute clip, we need to judge them."

He stood up, closely followed by Dan. "Right guys, so we think that's enough to time. Save your clips as they are onto this USB." He held up another USB, then chucked it at one of the teams. 

A few minutes later it was handed back to him, they watched the first video: 'Things everyone does but doesn't admit to'. They had chosen a school setting and something about staring at people by accident. The green screen had been used to show a school and to show falling into a void. ("I do that." Phil muttered to Dan.) 

The second team had called their video 'I'm always that one person who...' It was about how there's always one person who does something different and end up getting it wrong; they used the green screen to show a restaurant and a bus. ("That's so very me." Dan whispered to Phil.) 

 

Now they had to choose who was better; they discussed it for a moment, choosing the video. 

"Right, we've decided that team 1, things everyone does but doesn't admit to win, the editing for the void was very slick and smooth. That's not to say team 2 were bad, just the backgrounds needed more work." Dan announced over the cheering team one. (They would get ten points, whilst the others would get five.) 

The group of interns left for lunch, leaving Dan and Phil alone in the room. 

"We've got to do this again after lunch." Phil said, sighing.

"I know, but first, food!" Dan announced, leaving, but he held the door open for Phil. 

Sighing, but laughing as well, Phil rolled his eyes. "Always your first priority."

Dan smiled, which became a gentle chuckle, which became a giggle, which became a laugh and by the time they reached the room they started in, he was actually snorting, which Phil behind him laughing more at him than with him. 

As they entered the room, everyone inside stared at them. 

"Always making fools of themselves." Jack muttered to Louise.

"At least they're taking." She replied. 


End file.
